When it comes to thinking about my own mental health, I know that I struggle to put myself in the right frame of mind. That’s fair. That’s part of not having the best mental health. But I’m working on increasing how I deal with my mental health. I truly believe that, while I cannot blame my problems on the fact that I don’t have the best mental health, my internal issues have been creating a sort of writer’s block around anything to do with my personal life.
However, I’m trying to stop letting myself give up at the first sign of unhappiness. While it is important to take care of yourself, you should also be working on making yourself better. This can mean getting out of the house instead of sitting around and becoming part of the furniture. But I have been failing in that aspect recently. Instead of focusing on just the physical well being, part of getting better has been focusing on so many other parts of my life.
This has meant that I’ve been trying to make a return to writing. This means writing as a whole, not just the blog or just fiction writing. I have been keeping a one-line journal since October that I have kept up with, but I want to do a more detailed journal, the blog, and a new book. I want to keep my hands moving when it comes to writing and creating. Sitting still doesn’t sit well with me.
So overall, my mental health has been an adventure lately. I won’t blame individuals or specific situations because it’s been an overall kind of feeling. It’s just life, in general, that’s been crushing me and making me feel like I’m not doing everything that I could be doing. I want to also be doing more art. I actually have bought some acrylic paints and brushes and have some smaller squares of canvas to work on.
While any attempts that I have made recently haven’t turned out that great, I like being able to play with the colors and turn the paints into something new for my play with. I’m crocheting and knitting. I’m embroidering and cross stitching. Part of my life is about the way that I can create. I am not a passive consumer all the time. I want to get my hands dirty and do something amazing with the content that I am able to put out into the world.
It does mean that I start and stop a couple of times when it comes to things like new hobbies. But I’m bound and determined to try and make more than one of them stick. I can’t just be a writer and then go to work every day. I need to be a creator who has to do something to fund the creations that I want to do.
But all of this boils down to the fact that I am trying so hard to get to where I need to be. There is a lot of work that is going into becoming that person that I want to be. It means taking care of all parts of me. It means looking into opportunities to leave and head onto another place in so many different parts of my life.
My mental health is not great. I can’t say that it’s on the rise or that I’m getting better. I can’t say that it’s getting worse either. All I can say is that things are always changing. Things are always evolving. I’m just hoping to make sure that it’s me that’s evolving and changing as time goes on.