Net Neutrality

Yesterday (today as I am writing this) was hard.  12/14 marked a sad day for people that spend a lot of time on the internet.  I am one of those people, so it hit especially hard.

I will not lie that I wasn’t watching the vote at work.  I was compulsively checking twitter to see if there was something new to be sad.  I needed to know if the world as I knew it was falling apart in front of me.

The fact of the matter was that it wasn’t…and it was.

Net neutrality is incredibly important.  It allows us to get access to things without having to pay more money.  Free apps like Snapchat or Facebook or WordPress wouldn’t be free for us to access with just our typical internet payment.  Instead, we’d have to pay for access like we do for channels on TV.

That’s terrible.  And it’s something that some other countries see.  They already know how shitty it is.

But the worst part of this is the attitude behind this move.  The claim is that people will be able to vote with their money for their ISP.  The FCC and the ISPs know that this isn’t true.

In the US, this is a huge issue.  Sometimes whole cities are covered by only one ISP.  There may be a smaller one in there, but you can’t actually use them because they’re too slow or unreliable or too pricey when you compare them to the bigger ones.  And in some big cities, some apartment buildings will sign agreements with ISPs to only use that service for all of their tenants.

So there is no way to vote with your money.  We can’t not have internet.  That’s just not an option in this day and age.  We need to be able to communicate with a number of different people at many different times.

The FCC vote was the first part of the process.  But so many politicians and courts are already raising flags about the issue.  People are going to try to take it down from elsewhere.  It’s important to keep pushing for it to be repealed.

This may label me as one political affiliation or another, but many of the Republicans are touting this as something that’s going to boost the ISPs and everything that they do.  They’re actually not paying attention if that’s what they think is going on.  These industries are making tons of money right now.  People need the internet and phones and things like that.

This move is meant to rip a little bit more money from us and pad their pockets a little bit more.  All the while, they’re literally tearing apart the internet for us.  Some ISPs have said that they won’t change anything.  Others have actively tried throttling services in the past or promote some services by not having it count towards your data.  But they are going to use this ruling to their advantage.  They may not take it as far as many are suggesting because of the literal outrage and bad PR that will come from it.  But they will still use it.

This is not the end.  This is the beginning.  Keep fighting for an internet where you can do anything.

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Editing Online versus Hard Copy

In this day and age, it’s impossible to think about writing without imagining that a lot of it is online.  There’s not a lot of writing that is solely done in hard copy anymore.  Even more traditional writers want to save some time by writing online and then editing their writing in a hard copy.

But there are some writers that never want to touch the writing in hard copy.  Whether it’s too keep from using paper or to streamline their process.  Maybe they’re constantly traveling.  Maybe they just don’t want to deal with the pen and paper.

There are merits to both ways of editing.  You’ll find people that really prefer one way or another, but that doesn’t make them really better or worse.

When it comes to my personal preference, I find that I like a mix.  There is so much that I won’t catch when I’m soley editing by hand, but a lot of those specific changes aren’t necessary until I reach the later stages of the editing process.

However, editing online is a lot easier to do and it’s easy to keep both versions of the writing side by side on the screen.  This means that I won’t have to struggle to see what I wrote before.

Editing is a tricky process.  There’s a lot that goes into it.  You have to give it everything.  For different people, it requires different tools.  I can use both, but others will find that one works better than another.  Test your limits and see what you really need to do your best.

Gathering my Thoughts and Tasks

When you’re trying to get your life together, there are so many ways that you can do it.  Over the years, I’ve found a ton of different ways that I could pull myself together and make everything fall into place.

Right now, I’m using a number of methods, all mangled together to really keep my life running in the right order.  But even with all that work, I’ll still run behind or struggle with a situation.  There are tons of situations that are outside of my control.

Now, in order to get everything really in order, I use a bullet journal as a repository.  This is where the majority of my tasks and goals are housed.  It works the best because I’m able to be flexible with the look and feel of it.  But I also just have list after list after list around my apartment and work.

These lists are all scatterbrained.  For the most part, they coincide with everything that’s in my bullet journal.  Depending on the time of day, it can also be a little off.  The list I have at work is a little bit more detailed than what I keep in my bullet journal.  I just don’t want to put all of my work into my planner.

On the other hand, none of my personal to do’s make it onto the list at work.  Even jotting down ideas for blog posts is something that I keep separate.

But keeping things separate is just the way I work.  Explore what you want and need.  Explore apps and physical methods.  Play with it until you are able to find a method that keeps your life organizing the way that you want.

Taking My Time

So I’ve missed several days.  Which isn’t unusual and is more annoying to me than it is to the other people that I know.  But there’s a lot of work that’s going into even getting the blogs done when I can.

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t had a lot of time for other things.  I spend a lot of time cleaning and cooking and sleeping when I’m at home and I can’t sit and write when I’m at work.  So while I might have had several hours today where I could have jotted down ideas, I just didn’t have anything that I could write in.

But it’s not a bad thing to let my ideas stew.  As I’m settling into my job (and by that I mean, I’m actually going to have a desk that is mine instead of a temp setup) I’m starting to figure out what I can do and what I can’t.  While I can’t do things like write blog posts while I’m working,  I can write down ideas and make plans for the week.  Then, when I get home, I can sit down and churn out several things that have been mulling in my head.

Getting the chance to let ideas percolate inside of my head is glorious.  It means that I can actually get some serious thought going.  While I don’t mind writing off the cuff, it doesn’t always lead to the most productive of posts.  I’m hoping that as I integrate my life into work, I can make everything work smoothly.  I’ll come up with ideas during work that I can leave on a notepad.  Then I’ll be able to take that notepad and expand the ideas before I sit down to write at home.

I don’t need to have thesis statements.  Just nuggets of ideas.  Things that interest me or make me feel curious.  Who knows what it will be, but it will be fun.

Beginnings

I’ve had a complicated relationship with beginnings for as long as I can remember.  It comes from the fact that beginnings only happen with endings.  This means that I spend a lot of time dealing with the ending before the beginning settles down.

Right now, I think I’m ignoring the ending.  I’ve half settled into the apartment and am just looking forward.  I am trying to figure out what is going on going forward, but there isn’t a lot for me to understand.  And that’s kind of depressing.

Things happened in the last couple of months.  Things that I didn’t want to speak about.  But I’m…far enough away now that I can deal with the information being out there.  In October, my partner broke up with me.  There was stress on both ends and it was probably the best move.

It doesn’t take away the sting to say it again.  It makes it worse for the moment.  I had to step away from my keyboard after that last paragraph.  I will probably have to take a step back after I write this article.

I am dealing with mental health issues that weren’t so much created by the end of the relationship so much as exacerbated.

But I wanted to talk about a beginning that happened because of that ending.

This.  My job.  My new apartment.  Living alone.  Wanting a cat.  All of this.

I like to be busy when I don’t feel mentally well.  So I swung hard into the finding a job front to try and fill the void that had been left.  It isn’t the most healthy action to take, but it got me here.  I did something.  I made something happen.  I’m finding time to make everything I want to happen.

And it’s tough.  I’m not going to lie.  I still get sad.  I’m still dealing with stuff and talking to a therapist and going through everything.  But I’m done with the past.  I can be sad about it, but there is nothing to change.

The only thing you can do is move forward.  Every day is a beginning.  Every moment can be a beginning.  I’m trying to take them and use them to my advantage.  I don’t regret how I handled the situation.  I don’t regret how I felt and how I feel now.  It’s hard, but you’ll be okay.  If you’re struggling, then know you can do it.

The Great British Baking Show

I don’t really like reality shows.  There are a few exceptions that I will watch, such as Terrace House and all of its affiliated shows.  But I’ve just added a new one to the lineup: The Great British Baking Show.

I don’t know what made me click on it.  It might have been the fact that I love baking things and shows that are British.  it might have had an appealing cake on the thumbnail.  I’m really a simple person.  I like watching videos of people making baked goods, so this show gives me that along with some very real people.  There aren’t a lot of typical hangups.  There are still spots where the dramatize the situation, but it isn’t as bad as some other shows that are out there.

It was something that kept me company while I was packing and while I was working on Ikea furniture.  It’s one of those shows that just draws you in without having to do anything.

Along with shows like The Office and Parks and Rec, it is one of the background noise shows that I have going on at the moment.

All Moved In

I’m telling you now that I’m writing this post on 12/2.  It won’t go up until Monday because of the way that I want to schedule posts.  But it’s also important that I’m writing this on Saturday because I just got moved into my place.

My mom drove up with me to help with furniture and stuff, but now she’s gone.  She’s on a plane to get back to Colorado.  This has left me all alone in Washington in my apartment.

Moving is…terrifying to say the least.  It’s not that I’m not excited about the opportunity that’s gotten me here or the fact that I’ll be on my own.  I’m happy to be in my own space and not be living at home.  But there’s a lot of anxiety that is going into this.

Even with all my furniture in, I’m missing a majority of my stuff (like all of my books) that are coming in another box in a couple of weeks.  that’s making it hard to really feel at home yet.  I’ve got some unpacking that I will be doing this weekend.  This includes some laundry doing.

But I got here.  I can do this.  I’ve done a test drive to work.  I will be able to do this.

I do have some bad news that comes with the move.  I didn’t manage to do NaNoWriMo this year.  This is the third year in a row that I haven’t managed to complete the novel.

However, that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be able to do it ever again.  I’m just taking some time to sit down and try to take my time outside of work to get it done.  However, this also means that I will be pressed for time.

I have so much that I want to do and so much that I know I will be able to do.  Right now, I’m struggling with the situation, but I will make it work.  I can make it work.