A Quiet Lonely Day

When I wake up, I sometimes listen to the sounds in the house until they settle.  Whether people are going out or they’ve just settled.  It’s when the quiet is calming that I sit up and get ready.
I change my clothes, even if I’m still wearing sweat pants.  I go through the things I did yesterday.  I try to set myself up for success today.  I drink coffee, sometimes eat something.
Then I start.
Even if I’m not working and instead am writing, I try to work for a long period of time.  I try to dedicate myself to the task at hand.  I try to follow my lists.  I listen to music.  I watch YouTube videos.  I stop and play Minecraft for a couple minutes because it helps me feel like a person instead of a blob.
I get up, I get food, I get water, and sometimes I stare out the window in the kitchen.  Even if there are people in the house, I’m alone in my thoughts.  Even if I get on the phone with people, I often feel that I’m alone.
Getting outside more often is harder with the heat and my rising workload.  But I don’t mind.  I try to get up and move around regularly.  At the end of the day, I typically feel like I’ve accomplished something.  I understand that I’ve done well.  I understand that I’m still a person that is working towards a future.
I’ve fallen in love with these quiet and lonely days.  They’re not painful.  They’re full of feelings and books and shows.  I relish that time alone.  I guess that’s what makes me an introvert.
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