Thinking of Home

Home: an evolving concept sliding this way and that as you move this way and that.
When you were young, it might have been that place where your parents/grandparents/relatives lived. It was a place you lived. It might not have always been welcoming, but it was there. Maybe it was next door to your house. Maybe it was your friend’s house where their mom was always waiting with a warm meal for you.
And when you moved, you were sad, but home was still waiting for you out there. You could live like that. You could deal with it until home was far away when you were 17/18/19/20 and moved onto college or a job or a marriage. It didn’t matter what took you away, but home moved. Home sometimes disappeared.
Maybe it disappeared all at once, or gradually over months. Maybe home was too far away. There were little things (the smile of a sweetheart, the sound of a voice over the phone, a photo on your wall, a certain candle smell) that made you think of everything in the world that was right. It made you safe and sound. It made you warm and cozy.
And then it changed. Or you changed. Or both. Sometimes a home is taken away from you. Sometimes a home is given to you in unexpected ways. Sometimes, you find yourself nowhere with no one and you can’t find a home through the foggy uncertainty.
Even when you come out on the other side with the skies looking a little clearer, you’ll find yourself wondering about where you’re going and who you’re going to be. But you shouldn’t be worrying about that. You shouldn’t be worrying about anything at all.
Home is a place, a person, a scent, a mindset. Home is safe and sound, but do we grow when we’re at home or when we’re playing in the front yard? Find a home, but find a place to play. Find a place to cry and shout. Find a place to grow. Find a place that will let you become newer, fresher, happier, sadder, emotional, content, satisfied.
There might be a time and a place where things might change again. Maybe home won’t be the same place again. Maybe home will change often. But home will be something that you can hold onto. It’ll be a place or people or something that makes you feel comfortable and happy. Life will be so much better when you have a place or someone to be home for you.
It will keep you grounded. You’ll have a place, even if it isn’t permanent.

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