While I enjoy being off of school and being a graduate, I do understand that there’s a lot more at play for my brain. It’s something that I’ve noticed over the years and it’s something that I doubt is going to change for my mind.
Unless I have other projects to do and other tasks to occupy my brain, my creative juices are harder to get at. By this, I mean that during a typical school year, I could be writing 5,000 or more words a week while I was also on top of school work and everything else. But when it comes to the summer, I tend to write 5,000 or less words a week. It’s a little thing, but it shows a lot about how I work.
I need a little more structure than I can give myself sometimes. That’s what work and an endless list of projects is for. It’s meant to keep me engaged and interested and looking forward.
But there’s a flip side to this. During my last years in college, I spent a lot of time being unable to work on the projects that I wanted. I was working day in and day out on the school projects that I had to get done so that I could graduate and get to the point that I am.
This really means that I’ve been living my life pretty poorly. This is in regards to my mental health and creative health. Flipping back and forth between almost too much work and too little work has kept my brain bouncing everywhere. It probably hasn’t helped with any of the anxiety issues that I’ve dealt with over the years and it probably also hasn’t helped with the fact that I need to find a way to get myself to work at a much steadier pace.
Every year, I try new ways of getting myself off my ass to work and maintain myself and every year, I find that nothing works.
Yesterday, I spoke about how I’m creating a timeline for myself to follow. It’s going a little bit deeper than just a general timeline. I’m going to have due dates for parts of projects that I’m working on. It’ll look a little bit like a long term class project that I’m working on. And since I won’t have class projects to work on anymore, it should help keep the part of my brain that wants that kind of work done.
Now, there’s one more piece to the puzzle: work. I’m not skipping it here. Trust me, I’m trying very hard to keep it as part of my life. But I’ve set up a general number of hours that I can work a day on jobs. I’m applying and trying to fill those hours. And once I reach the max number of hours, then I’m set. I’ll apply for more work, but there won’t be as much pressure. Right now, this is actually probably the most stressful part of my life, but it’ll get figured out as soon as I can.
Well. That’s all I have to say today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll talk about something more fun or at least exciting to me. Work and writing are good and all, but even I need a break.